Celebrating Barixaa (Rain in Assamese)

Tired from the scorching heat of the sun,

Returning home, with a hope ,for the rain to come.

I walk down the streets of the busy, fast moving city,

Weary and teary I drag myself home.

I could see my skin covered with droplets of fresh sweat,

My throat wanting to quench the thirst,

My palms wanting to feel the moist touch,

Oh how I wish it could rain!

Suddenly, I hear it call,

From behind the canopy of dark clouds.

My heart filled with joy,

Waiting for the first spell of rain ,to touch my senses.

The fresh wind blew,

Blew ,with a promise of refreshing surprises.

I waited,

It came ;

The first spell of rain.

It fell on the dusty busy road,

Spreading the aroma ,which refreshed my mind and soul.

Down the streets I see,

The gurgling water sweeping the dirt towards the gutter,

The kids aloof from the fact,

 Are seen jumping into the puddles with the sound of pitter and patter.

For a second or two,

I was taken back to my childhood days,

Where I would sail my paper boats and form a gaze.

Suddenly my flashbacks experienced a halt,

I reached home.

My garden called for me.

The lush green blades of grass,

Painted my tired feet.

My dry throat expressed its desire for thirst,

My tongue tasted the sweetness of the fresh rain water.

It led me to dance,

Dance, with the abundance and beauty of nature.

Deep within my soul, I accepted,

The divine feeling of contentment,

And the joy of celebrating Barixaa.

When

When a feeling of self-contentment seeps in,

You see a ray of hope,

Emerging out. of the unimaginable void created in your life.

When you gradually allow a feeling, to ooze to the surface of your heart,

You feel self-reliant, 

Finally marking your end to helplessness.

When you grow out of life's melancholy,

You do learn a lot from its tragic symphony.

When you decide to break free from your cocoon,
You always experience the joy of freedom.
When you long for a dream to come true,
You always wear the beauty of patience.

When you allow the wounds to heal,
When you offer that moment, with some time.
It erases every scar that you believed to be yours,
Paving through the most difficult offerings of life.

When you feel, the world sings with you.
When you see the happiness around you.
It is nothing,
But your will.
It is no one, but you in it.

When you suddenly, become aware,
Listening to the nature sing in glory.
Your senses decide to caress,
The warmth of mindful living.
When you realize you are stable,
You are grounded to your dreams.

This feeling of contentment, deep within,
Allows you to embrace love.
Love that was, and will be.
Spreading wings you decide to breathe,
Nurturing the essence it has to bestow.

Now, you are thinking,
Realizing the experiences of the past.
Past, that was meant to be,
To make you grow as a person,
Wearing the ornament of courage and fruitful learning.

Gradually, you decide,
To be yourself, to be that 'You'.
And you pave your way certainly through.
Suddenly, the time moves slow,
And the moment stands still.

It is then,
When you find your answers.
It is then,
When you need no reason to speak.
It is then,
When you find happiness.
It is then,
when you finally make through!

About you and me

In life, we are searching, seeking, pleading, and thriving for 'Happiness'.

Often unsure of what we want in real.

We get an inch of it, we open our hands for some more,

We get oodles of it, we still complain.

We engage ourselves in this journey,

Journey, that has no destination.

We cannot halt,

We cannot breathe.

This unknown desire to seek the unknown pleasure;

Never ends.

Yet, this heart within,

pounds for something real.

That reality is blinded by gratifying needs.

In this course,

We undermine so many shades of life,

 Which are in plentiful, for each one of us.

Life, the palate full of colourful offerings.

Yet we undermine!

It is right there,

That something, in 'Real'.

That ultimate, unknown happiness

Embracing you time to time.

In life's symphony it indulges us,

Yet we undermine,

we keep telling ourselves,

No! Not Yet!

Some More,

You deserve more!

And the journey continues,

Like the time and tide passing by,

Like the ocean, flowing endlessly.

And we remain in a state of discontentment.

From within

I find myself torn,

Something from within pulls me away.

I am distracted 

with life’s offerings.

I find myself sensitive,

breaking down now and then.

I know, I do not belong here.

They say I am anxious,

they say I am frowning,

Unhappy they see me all the time.

I feel the same,

I realize myself,

How things altered around me.

How I paved my way through it!

Now, here sitting in a room of fifty three,

I am feeling bizarre.

An urge from within

telling me to let go.

A voice from within

Asking me to catch hold of myself.

I want to be back,

I want myself back,

I want to become me once again.

Loving everyone around me, 

Celebrating the joy of life.

I want to dance,

Sing in glory to myself,

I want that moment to be back,

When I would see my reflection around me.

Walls smiling at me,

Encouraging me 

To move on.

I want to wear a genuine smile ,

Carrying it for a long time.

I want to reach heights

with no hesitation within.

I know I can,

I know I will.

Just seeking some time now.

Waiting for the chariot of time

to take pace in the whirlpool of life.

I am patient,

tolerant,

hopeful.

Here, I wait

with open arms.

To behold the beauty of being Alive.

Belonging …

Sitting in class, with a sore throat and a feverish body,

As I look past, I see people at work,

Pens racing on papers,

Fingers racing on the keyboards of laptops.

Piercing gazes, frowning temples,

Confident gestures, never- giving up the zeal,

A sense of survival in the rat race seeps in.

Not in me, I am numb!

As I stare at these faces,

It makes me wonder!

Am I lazy or ignorant?

Is this needed?

To me it seems no important,

A sudden feeling of over achieving in the warm air of the room

I feel nothing.

I realize it forms a smile on my face

As I look down

Down upon such souls indulging in the race

Almost killing each other with motives unhealthy

Discarding compassion,

a lack of concern and love.

They de-throne with words, battle with beliefs and doom you with gazes.

I feel I am contended,

With no urge to involve myself here.

I feel I belong somewhere calmer, more sensitive and humane,

Where people should belong

In supporting, comforting concerns for each other.

The reason for my actual being is being compassionate

I need not growl,

I need not be loud to put across my word.

Every soul, here and now

Has the liberty to express and bestow.

I feel we are given the time and opportunity

That we undermine.

Thereby, I say;

You need not hurry;

Need not cry

Need not feel helpless.

For your time shall come.

Where you shall pave your way

Through the path you engraved

With the seeds you have sown

Beautiful it would be

To belong in a world you have longed for,

Nurturing every dream that will be

For you and only you.

Without a grain of compulsion,

You soar like a magnificent bird

Cutting through the toughest of winds,

Emerging with glistening faith

In you and only you.

Fear not,

Bleed not,

As it is patience to seek.

As you will reign one day,

With no regrets but contentment deep within.

-Nikita Hazarika

7^th Feb 2015

Wandering Mind

It seems as if life has come to a halt

a state which cannot be explained

I feel doubtful, trapped and confused

of where I want to be.

Sometimes it wants to fly, sing and voice out

but at times it hesitates.

Hesitates of what?

I want to know the reason

for which I cry, I bleed.

Is it worth it? 

Am I worth it?

Dreams are many but something stops me,

refrains me of aspiring high

Am I not capable? 

Am I not brave?

Sometimes I feel drifting away,

far away from  myself

Sometimes I wear a mask

A mask that protects me from them

Them for whom I live

Them for whom I breathe

I wonder if this life !

Would anyone survive here?

Life seems like a mirage

Imaginary, Illusionary

that calls from far

I surrender my soul

to those unknown

Not knowing how will it be

With an essence of hope

I want to see. 

BEING

I do not belong here. do I?

But I am here to stay.

Tracing back I find myself stagnant

But I was sure of my being

World seemed promising

With a hope of never giving up.

I know it never lasted

Blaming it on destiny

I marched ahead

To a state of being

Sleeping in the present.

I am here now, unstable

I tumble in puddles of uncertainty

People say,

Welcome the present with an open heart.

I decided to do so.

Still trying hard,

to adapt to a new environment.

Transient walls welcome me

Never promising but altering every time

I am aware of the change

though it is tearing me apart

Perhaps shedding my skin of dependency.

I am weak 

With no strength left within

to stop the happenings or to say a no.

Thereby, I am here

Hugging the offerings as I go with the flow.

Trying to see the world with rose tinted glasses

Deep within,

Aware about the transience 

that is still to unveil.