Wandering Mind

It seems as if life has come to a halt

a state which cannot be explained

I feel doubtful, trapped and confused

of where I want to be.

Sometimes it wants to fly, sing and voice out

but at times it hesitates.

Hesitates of what?

I want to know the reason

for which I cry, I bleed.

Is it worth it? 

Am I worth it?

Dreams are many but something stops me,

refrains me of aspiring high

Am I not capable? 

Am I not brave?

Sometimes I feel drifting away,

far away from  myself

Sometimes I wear a mask

A mask that protects me from them

Them for whom I live

Them for whom I breathe

I wonder if this life !

Would anyone survive here?

Life seems like a mirage

Imaginary, Illusionary

that calls from far

I surrender my soul

to those unknown

Not knowing how will it be

With an essence of hope

I want to see. 

BEING

I do not belong here. do I?

But I am here to stay.

Tracing back I find myself stagnant

But I was sure of my being

World seemed promising

With a hope of never giving up.

I know it never lasted

Blaming it on destiny

I marched ahead

To a state of being

Sleeping in the present.

I am here now, unstable

I tumble in puddles of uncertainty

People say,

Welcome the present with an open heart.

I decided to do so.

Still trying hard,

to adapt to a new environment.

Transient walls welcome me

Never promising but altering every time

I am aware of the change

though it is tearing me apart

Perhaps shedding my skin of dependency.

I am weak 

With no strength left within

to stop the happenings or to say a no.

Thereby, I am here

Hugging the offerings as I go with the flow.

Trying to see the world with rose tinted glasses

Deep within,

Aware about the transience 

that is still to unveil.

The Moment

Trying to concentrate in an early morning class

little did I know my actual state of being

the only feeling I sense is Pain

I decide not to surrender, to its nasty intentions.

I find myself to be restless,

turning from right to left and left to right.

clenching  to anything I can reach.

I am unstable at the moment

bizarre thoughts overflowing from within.

I feel no good but worse every inch of myself.

Torn inside, I bleed.

Uncertainty gushing down my spine.

I decide not to fight back as strength fades away

I shiver, unable to manage the change

I seek support, though cannot trust

But this feeling is new I realise

of letting go

I know deep within, all these for a reason

Hope is still alive for peace

of promising times, yet to surprise me

I cling on to my patience

assuming it to be my companion

I regret no more 

Of my present state of being

as I no more dwell in the past

as I do not long for the future

But I am happy to be here 

Living my present.

Soul

It exists somewhere within
questioning again and again
curiosity it beholds
to know the world around

confused or perplexed you know
it wanders by all the time
little yo know
when time passes by
the touch, the texture it strives for
the serene sight of nature's offering it strives for

Wanderring in nature's abode
sleeping in its lap
nestling in the intricate roots of a tree

Aware or unaware are we
about its presence around
little do we realise of what it desires
it evolves and grows
within us we say
but nurturing are we to
truly behold the beauty


of its essence in an honest way.